A Post from the "Old Blog": Thoughts on Hope

I've just started reading this health column and found a commentary on CNN about depression: Is There Hope for Life with Depression

What this psychiatrist says about hopelessness and therapeutic nihilism struck a chord and challenged some of my darker thoughts, for example, that instead of being afraid of having to remain on medications for the rest of my life, I should practice gratitude that I have found relief, no matter how it happens! I’ve felt ashamed that I could not handle my depression “on my own” and that meds have helped so significantly. I suppose I learned from a young age that anything outside my self-will that helps me feel better is a “crutch.” But this is a whole different way of looking at the struggle–why shouldn’t I be grateful at how my life has turned around since I began taking meds? Yes, it took a few tries to come up with the right concoction, and the most recent switch has been the most beneficial.

I'm not implying that therapy hasn’t helped either–it has. It is overwhelmingly assuring that my practitioner is there for me when I can’t handle things on my own and when it all becomes a bit too much for my meds to control.  Expressing with her helps lessen the sense of helplessness and hopelessness, allows me to see another perspective to events, and take in a different point of view than the harsh, angry inner parent in my head. Therapy has taught me that sometimes these voices are simply tapes that spin around and all I need to do is push the stop button for a while. And that’s not all–EMDR helps to release the stuck energy, as does hypnosis, and past-life regression therapy has probably been the most beneficial, as I have been blessed to experience the bigger picture. As kooky as the concept may sound, I urge an open mind and giving it a chance--some matters are too spiritual, universal, and all-encompassing to be dealt with in a conscious and conventional matter. Especially when an  issue seems to be permanently stuck, immovable like a thousand-ton boulder; for example, a pattern or addiction that one can’t break despite treatment. 

Another thing that helps move one in the direction of hope is compassion toward yourself in knowing that some issues are too overwhelming to handle alone. And that sometimes, you do need to save yourself at the expense of a relationship, family, friend, or lover. When you step back and leave the person alone, it might just be the best thing you’ve done for you AND the other. And maybe, someday, when you’re ready,  have the appropriate boundaries in place for your safety, and have healed enough, you can invite that person back into your life.

 

And then, spirituality. That’s a HUGE source of hope. Only one can’t be “prescribed” spirituality–I’ve found that spirituality finds you when you are open to it. And there’s no way to explain how to be “open” to it, either. It just is what and when it is, unfortunately. Mine came in the most unexpected disguise, something completely out of my normal range of living, and I thank my higher power for it every day.

Please don't interpret that in expressing these "tips," I’m standing on a high horse and saying everything is perfect in my world. It is most definitely not.  I like to say I’m “stable” on the meds, and I’m physically able to hold down a full-time job, which I wasn’t even a year ago. And if I slip and stay away from therapy or support for too long, it’s back down the shaft again. It’s a life of constant vigilance, and I don’t think there truly is a cure–I agree with the good doctor. It probably is like living with diabetes–manage your "dis-ease" and you can get through life reasonably well and happily.