Fire like no other...

I learned something Saturday night: if you play with fire, you will eventually get burned. I don't even know where to start. Intimacy, yes; fear, yes; loss of control...I thought he was made of steel, he could keep in control of himself and any situation. I was wrong. Just because someone is a master at Tai Kwan Do doesn't mean he is the master of his desires. We are both insanely compulsive and insanely human.

We overstepped a boundary, one we had set for ourselves. I am terrified--is this it? Is it over?  I don't know anything, I can't say what's going to happen or what he's thinking.

It was a fantastically erotic 17 hours. More new explorations, and I felt so comfortable with him that I let my guard down. I should have known; I can't do that without consequences. At 9:30am he was ready for me to go. So I left. He was watching me like a hawk as he led me away from his bedroom, down the stairs, and out of his house; I don't know why.

When I arrived, he texted me. I entered his house, locked the door behind me and followed his instructions. I walked into the master bedroom where the atmosphere was just right. This was definitely different--a candle in the dark, the stars and the earth in the background on the screen...silence for a few excrutiatingly long minutes. Then, a slight creaking of the stairs. Stealthy. He entered the room in his uniform, just the way he knows I like it. And it began.

He managed to accomplish all his goals. He turned me into a quivering, crying, moaning ball on his bed all afternoon and night, begging not to be touched at the end; he relaxed me into sleep; and in the morning in a desirous haze, we breached the boundary.  Everything he had ever wanted to do with me, in these four years of waiting. What is left now? For me, desire for him is never-ending. I do not know what is in his head. I am satisfied yet longing for more; terrified of abandonment after giving him the ultimate prize...

I did not think this would happen.