I took down my previous post, the "introduction," because I felt uncomfortable being that revealing. I lost one follower, and I suspect that was because the person felt the post was inappropriate. And it probably was. You see, that's what happens when I get carried away! Sometimes it takes mistakes to get me back on track. I think, also, my lover was excited to learn that I was telling the world about us, and he doesn't mind sharing that kind of thing, and, of course, I wanted to please him. But, you know what--at the end of the day, this is MY blog and I am about recovery and unconventional lifestyles...but not without boundaries. So, here's a rewritten version, a bit more poetic, that describes what my lover is to me.
I still can't believe he wants ME. I have to shake myself sometimes to be reminded that this IS real. I love that he works with his hands; they are so very talented. I love the rough sound of his voice and his creative mind. He's such an intriguing combination of logic and creativity, which leads to incredible experimentation during our times together--and the most intensely erotic fantasies I've ever read. The one problem we have is that we suck each other dry...We sap each others' energy (speaking for myself, I tend to get physically ill or, lately, go into shock after our meetings), so frequent meetings are not prudent. If I weren't already convinced about the power of the body's energy fields, I would be now. I did see a man's aura once during sex; that was completely different. I don't see anything with him; I FEEL the power. It overtakes me, every part of me, the moment I step into his presence. And I can feel it through his words, in emails, chats, etc. But the energy in person, that is on a whole other level of intensity.
There's so much I want to do with him still. The list is almost endless (and repetitive!), but if I died tomorrow, I would be satisfied.
This relationship is the most physical I have ever experienced. He's taken me to the deep, dark places I couldn't even imagine before I met him. We don't speak many words when we're together, but our bodies and sounds tell the most erotic and sensual stories. I don't have to say how much I want him or how I feel when he touches me. Years of pent up longing are expressed without a word. His commands compel me to obey; they melt and thrill me. He concentrates deeply as he ties intricate knots with ropes that bind me, and simply watching him in this meditative state is enough. I allow him into places secret and forbidden and am rewarded with such pleasure. I love to touch him with the water pouring over us; in my mind, we are not in a shower, we are standing in the rain and he is slowly stripping me, enjoying each layer as it slips off my body...He moves in me, he fits perfectly, I feel him throb, the warmth and strength of his body press on mine and the divide between reality and fantasy disappears. I become another woman, the one who throbs and pulses and beats to his rhythm. When we are skin to skin, no matter what we are attempting, I am in bliss. I open up to him like a spring flower. "All too easy," he chides, but I do not want to play hard-to-get with him; I am eager and happy to give all I have.
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