Well, it hurts, mai oui. He's off, I think.
It's time to turn my focus. I've let things get out of control in my home life. My husband and I have been essentially been living separate lives, opposite schedules, taking our daughter on each of them with us. It's time to reorganize, change some things. The final straw occurred last night when dh started making dinner at 9pm and I was trying to settle our daughter in for the night. What kind of a family is this, when the father doesn't get home until 8, no family meal, no family time. Then I disappear and rush around getting everything ready for bed and the next morning. Read books, bottle, sleep. That's it. We rarely spend time alone together, and lately it's been arguing, and when we used to, we always talked of her. Our marriage is degrading. And no, it's not because of this other "thing" I have going.
Ever since, well, for a long time now, I have felt like the breeding mare--I felt he just wanted a baby and now he's so thrilled and obsessed with her that I don't matter any more. He went away on this business trip and when he returned, rushed straight for her. I couldn't help being upset. Ever since the moment she was born, she's become his first priority. Even in the hospital as I was undergoing two blood transfusions after my surgery. He adores her, I understand that. I think my life has irrevocably changed in so many ways and the two of us need to talk about this and make some changes. I want a happy fulfilling marriage and a functional (as opposed to "dysfunctional") family. I have worked hard in the past to ensure that, as I've described already, and I want to fight for it.
The depression has been intense lately, with everything combined. I am not sure how to fight this right now.
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